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Subj: Instructions
Date: 2000-08-04 21:54



Cat Washing Instructions (as submitted by The Dog)

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids
lifted.

3. Obtain the cat, and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids
(you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).  CAUTION: Do
not get any part of your body too close to the edge as the cat's paws will
be reaching out for anything they can find.

5   The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises
that come from your toilet ---your cat is actually enjoying this.

6  Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a powerwash and
rinse, which seem to be quite effective.

7. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no
people between the toilet and the outside door.

8. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

9. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he
will dry himself.

I believe you will find this procedure to be very efficient and effective.

Respectfully submitted --

The Dog